Here is an email I sent to the CEO of my company two days after the election:
Dear XXXXXXX:
Thank you for the email sent out on Monday, reminding us of the importance of the election and urging us all to participate in the democratic process. In view of that email, I wanted to take the opportunity to tell you how things went in my department.
I was assigned several training samples to run through a method on Election Day. Due to the nature of the testing, I could not delay running the samples, nor could I split the work between two days. So, I awoke before 4:00 in the morning and got to work immediately upon arriving. I worked straight through without any breaks or lunch time. I realized the polls were open until 8:00 in my state, but I feared the lines would be long or that some other issue would arise at the poll.
But at least I was able to vote. A co-worker began testing over 100 samples that day (about double the normal number). These samples needed to be pulled for testing two, four and twelve hours after their initial drop into shakers. As you can imagine, this made for a very long day for my co-worker. He arrived at work shortly after I did and was still on the clock after 11:00 PM. He was never given the opportunity to vote.
Other co-workers arrived late or left early (cutting into their workdays and wages) in an effort to find the best time to vote. Still others did not participate in their usual carpooling (increasing their gas expenditures) so as to be freed up to visit the polls at an opportune time.
As this is a company that encourages us all to take the opportunity to vote, I think the above examples (all from one department) are inexcusable. No one should have to choose between wages or voting and no one should be so overtaxed with their workload on Election Day that they are unable to leave long enough to go vote.
One of my favorite benefits working at XXXXX is the time off for holidays, which is generous in comparison to other local corporations. Each year, we are granted eleven days of paid time off to celebrate certain days as we see fit. I propose that, in election years, one of these eleven days be assigned to Election Day. In this year, for example, we were given paid time off for Presidents' Day - a day most employees would probably not mind working. Again, I'm not implying that I did not appreciate having that day off, but given the choice, I would have opted to have Election Day off instead.
If assigning Election Day off is impractical, I recommend offering employees a Floating Holiday so that those who feel the need can use this on Election Day.
I know you are busy and I thank you for taking the time to read this. It is a pleasure to work here at XXXXXXXXX.
(No reply received as of 19Nov08.)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
A Good Question - Part Two
The other religion-centered question that was posed to me was this:
What kind of negative influence did the religion have on you?
This question, asked by a relative, was not asked in the spirit of sincere inquiry, but as a challenge. The reason for the challenge was because of something stupid I said. See, I was first asked why I would decide to leave the religion and, further, make my findings available on the web. My answer was two-fold: I left the religion because it is not true and because it has had a largely negative influence on my immediate family.
I’m not sure why I allowed my answer to ramble. The first part (because it’s not true) certainly would have sufficed. For example, if someone says: “Why don’t you believe the Earth is flat?”, a full, complete answer would be: “Because it’s not true”. You shouldn’t have to supplement it with “And because believing it’s flat is bad for my health.”
Nevertheless, that’s what I said, and that’s what my family member decided to jump on. I was soon reminded, however, that it’s impossible to ever point out to a Witness that their religion has a pernicious effect upon its members. This is because all evidence provided is dismissed into one of two categories: 1) You can’t blame the actions of some elders/pioneers/Bethelites on the religion as a whole. And 2) Your claim isn’t that bad.
Let me explain this with examples.
First, when I argued that one member of my family was subjected to child abuse at the hands of her (elder) father, my relative said: “Oh come on, you can’t point out what he did to his children and say that that’s a problem with the religion. He was acting out of line with what the religion teaches.” But this is a total cop-out. Matthew 7:16 declares “By their fruits you will know them”, and Jesus claimed that the identifying mark of his true disciples would be that they have love among themselves. Additionally, Witnesses love pointing out how united they are, so even if I was to grant that some elders have acted out of line with the official doctrine, this only serves as evidence that they are not united.
It’s funny, really, because as I ran down a litany of offenses elders have committed against my family, the person with whom I was talking knocked them all down as exceptions, aberrations, to the religion at large. Again: cop out! If I could list off a dozen elders that pushed their own opinion, abused their kids, empowered pedophiles, were over-eager to disfellowship, pushed their own opinions or caused members of my family to leave the meeting crying…then who’s to say those are the only twelve elders like that in the whole world?
My brother-in-law once compared the religion to a job, and I think his description was apt. Allow me to use it here: if your supervisor molested your kids, would you continue to work for him? And if you quit, would you keep silent about it?
Second, other arguments I threw up were swatted down as “not that bad”. It’s hard to qualify this. Especially in the mindset of a Witness, there is almost nothing a person could endure as a Witness that qualifies as “that bad”. For instance, many Witnesses died in Nazi-sponsored concentration camps. To a Witness, this is well worth it, as such people are practically guaranteed a place in paradise (sorry, no virgins in this paradise – quite the opposite, some Witnesses think that resurrected folks will be prohibited from sex). So, when I complained of being an outcast in school, not celebrating my birthday, wasting time in a pointless volunteer work and subjecting myself to the whims of elders, Witnesses just chalk this up to the kind of life we must endure in this wicked world. They argue that not celebrating a birthday isn’t that big of a deal (and maybe it’s not) and, further, that by not celebrating one’s birthday, a person is helping cement their relationship with Jehovah. And while most Witnesses would sympathize with being an outcast at school or work, they would say that such things are persecution orchestrated by the devil & that God will reward us appropriately in due time.
At any rate, I ended this portion of the conversation by stating that the negative influences were not what caused me to leave. It was, plain and simple, the fact that the religion is not true.
In a future post, perhaps, I will cite specific cases of how the religion was detrimental to my life.
What kind of negative influence did the religion have on you?
This question, asked by a relative, was not asked in the spirit of sincere inquiry, but as a challenge. The reason for the challenge was because of something stupid I said. See, I was first asked why I would decide to leave the religion and, further, make my findings available on the web. My answer was two-fold: I left the religion because it is not true and because it has had a largely negative influence on my immediate family.
I’m not sure why I allowed my answer to ramble. The first part (because it’s not true) certainly would have sufficed. For example, if someone says: “Why don’t you believe the Earth is flat?”, a full, complete answer would be: “Because it’s not true”. You shouldn’t have to supplement it with “And because believing it’s flat is bad for my health.”
Nevertheless, that’s what I said, and that’s what my family member decided to jump on. I was soon reminded, however, that it’s impossible to ever point out to a Witness that their religion has a pernicious effect upon its members. This is because all evidence provided is dismissed into one of two categories: 1) You can’t blame the actions of some elders/pioneers/Bethelites on the religion as a whole. And 2) Your claim isn’t that bad.
Let me explain this with examples.
First, when I argued that one member of my family was subjected to child abuse at the hands of her (elder) father, my relative said: “Oh come on, you can’t point out what he did to his children and say that that’s a problem with the religion. He was acting out of line with what the religion teaches.” But this is a total cop-out. Matthew 7:16 declares “By their fruits you will know them”, and Jesus claimed that the identifying mark of his true disciples would be that they have love among themselves. Additionally, Witnesses love pointing out how united they are, so even if I was to grant that some elders have acted out of line with the official doctrine, this only serves as evidence that they are not united.
It’s funny, really, because as I ran down a litany of offenses elders have committed against my family, the person with whom I was talking knocked them all down as exceptions, aberrations, to the religion at large. Again: cop out! If I could list off a dozen elders that pushed their own opinion, abused their kids, empowered pedophiles, were over-eager to disfellowship, pushed their own opinions or caused members of my family to leave the meeting crying…then who’s to say those are the only twelve elders like that in the whole world?
My brother-in-law once compared the religion to a job, and I think his description was apt. Allow me to use it here: if your supervisor molested your kids, would you continue to work for him? And if you quit, would you keep silent about it?
Second, other arguments I threw up were swatted down as “not that bad”. It’s hard to qualify this. Especially in the mindset of a Witness, there is almost nothing a person could endure as a Witness that qualifies as “that bad”. For instance, many Witnesses died in Nazi-sponsored concentration camps. To a Witness, this is well worth it, as such people are practically guaranteed a place in paradise (sorry, no virgins in this paradise – quite the opposite, some Witnesses think that resurrected folks will be prohibited from sex). So, when I complained of being an outcast in school, not celebrating my birthday, wasting time in a pointless volunteer work and subjecting myself to the whims of elders, Witnesses just chalk this up to the kind of life we must endure in this wicked world. They argue that not celebrating a birthday isn’t that big of a deal (and maybe it’s not) and, further, that by not celebrating one’s birthday, a person is helping cement their relationship with Jehovah. And while most Witnesses would sympathize with being an outcast at school or work, they would say that such things are persecution orchestrated by the devil & that God will reward us appropriately in due time.
At any rate, I ended this portion of the conversation by stating that the negative influences were not what caused me to leave. It was, plain and simple, the fact that the religion is not true.
In a future post, perhaps, I will cite specific cases of how the religion was detrimental to my life.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Ten Busy Days
All day, I keep having this feeling like I'm forgetting a project or two, and that might be because I have A LOT to do in the next ten days. Allow me to delineate everything & then I'll get back here 10 days hence and see how I fared.
Today (31Oct) - Work. Trick'r'Treating with Owen at the Mall, then coming home to pass out candy to the locals.
01Nov - 11:45 appointment to get my haircut at my sister's salon. I gotta remember to bring my laptop so she can update her iPod. In the afternoon, I need to call into a conference call so I can hear all the rules and requirements of Video the Vote, which I signed up for. Also, I have to smack the pack of yeast so that I can brew beer on Sunday. Set the clock back before hitting the pillow.
02Nov - Friends coming over for dinner and to watch me brew beer. I'd also like to video-tape some of this for a how-to filmlet.
03Nov - Work. Going to a meeting for Video the Vote for one last training session.
04Nov - Work. Want to leave right at 3:00 to get home in time to stand in line & vote. Bringing my camera. Need to be on hand to film any voting problems that arise in my area between then and 7:00.
05Nov - Work. Leaving early to go to a routing physical to make sure I'm not filled with the drugs I work on at work. Going straight from there to guitar lessons.
06Nov - Work. Hosting Atheists Talk TV Show in the evening.
07Nov - Work. During lunch break, meeting via phone with a woman from the foundation that is offering writing grants (with the hope that this will help score me the grant). Running in a 6K race sponsored by my employer.
08Nov - Lunch with grandparents.
09Nov - The beer might be ready to bottle. Also, the grant proposal is due on the 10th, so I should have it all prepared today & ready to drop off tomorrow.
There! In between all that, I need to find time to finalize the latest issue of MA, work on the grant proposal, monitor the beer and practice guitar. I think some friends might want some assistance with their kitchen floor tiling, too.
I'll write again around the 10th to report back.
Now back to work...
Today (31Oct) - Work. Trick'r'Treating with Owen at the Mall, then coming home to pass out candy to the locals.
01Nov - 11:45 appointment to get my haircut at my sister's salon. I gotta remember to bring my laptop so she can update her iPod. In the afternoon, I need to call into a conference call so I can hear all the rules and requirements of Video the Vote, which I signed up for. Also, I have to smack the pack of yeast so that I can brew beer on Sunday. Set the clock back before hitting the pillow.
02Nov - Friends coming over for dinner and to watch me brew beer. I'd also like to video-tape some of this for a how-to filmlet.
03Nov - Work. Going to a meeting for Video the Vote for one last training session.
04Nov - Work. Want to leave right at 3:00 to get home in time to stand in line & vote. Bringing my camera. Need to be on hand to film any voting problems that arise in my area between then and 7:00.
05Nov - Work. Leaving early to go to a routing physical to make sure I'm not filled with the drugs I work on at work. Going straight from there to guitar lessons.
06Nov - Work. Hosting Atheists Talk TV Show in the evening.
07Nov - Work. During lunch break, meeting via phone with a woman from the foundation that is offering writing grants (with the hope that this will help score me the grant). Running in a 6K race sponsored by my employer.
08Nov - Lunch with grandparents.
09Nov - The beer might be ready to bottle. Also, the grant proposal is due on the 10th, so I should have it all prepared today & ready to drop off tomorrow.
There! In between all that, I need to find time to finalize the latest issue of MA, work on the grant proposal, monitor the beer and practice guitar. I think some friends might want some assistance with their kitchen floor tiling, too.
I'll write again around the 10th to report back.
Now back to work...
Friday, October 24, 2008
A Good Question - Part One
I keep meaning to write something here, because I think both people who read this blog enjoy my extremist views on life. Alas, I have been quite busy with a number of personal pursuits which I’m sure would bore you if I discussed them any further.
In amongst all the things that have kept me busy lately, I have had a couple of very interesting conversations. In one of them, I was talking with an ex-Witness. This ex-Witness, in particular, was in the religion far longer than I. He rose to the position of Elder and even considered himself one of the anointed (i.e., going to heaven when he dies). During the course of our verbal exchange, he asked me:
When you were a Witness, did you ever do anything for which you should have gotten into trouble?
It’s a good question, primarily because many JWs I speak with delight in ‘blaming’ my exit from their religion on the fact that God’s spirit ‘left me’. Of course, this begs the question: Why did God’s spirit leave me? Their answer is usually something like: “You must’ve done something wrong”. So I’m gonna take this opportunity right now to spell out everything I did wrong as a JW and I will leave you, the reader, to decide if any of this warranted a termination of God’s (whoever you feel God is) love.
I first want to point out that I’m listing off absolutely everything here. So, unless I list it off, you can assume I never did it. For instance, I never murdered anyone, so even though that is against JW policy, I was never guilty of that sin. Second, there are really two time frames here: 20th Century James, who believed in the Watchtower Society and the inerrancy of the bible and 21st Century James (2000-2006) who didn’t believe it was true but still did it anyway for reasons that would make this a phenomenally long story (trust me). I will divide my sins appropriately. Third, any JW will admit that all JWs sin all the time; maybe they told a white lie, or they stayed home from the meeting when they shouldn’t have, or they had a ‘bad’ thought about someone else. I’m not gonna list those tiny sins because, well, for one, I don’t remember them all and, two, no JW ever got into trouble for those silly little things, they were just told to pray for forgiveness.
1. I drank to excess.
Between 1995 and 1999, I was over the legal limit (probably) 20 times. I want to point out that I never drank with the intention of getting drunk, it just sort of happened when I was enjoying a particularly strong Long Island Iced Tea. I never fell asleep on the floor or vomited or woke up the next morning unable to go to work, so I was never THAT drunk, but I was tipsy to the point where I shouldn’t have driven. And, don’t worry, I never did drive.
Between 2000 and 2006, I was over the legal limit (probably) 10 times. On one occasion, my wife had to pull the car over so I could puke.
2. I watched rated-R movies.
In the 20th century, I watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Godfather Trilogy, Schindler’s List, Saving Private Ryan, Shakespeare in Love and Braveheart. Real trashy stuff. Funny thing, though, most JWs have also seen these movies – they either do so in private (going to great lengths to hide their contraband) or they just watch them on TV where they can still get the benefit of all the violence, but are saved the God-hating images of bare breasts.
In the 21st century, I (like many other JWs) decided the Society’s rating policy was asinine and took to watching whatever the hell I felt like watching (though I still abstained from spiritistic movies and porn).
3. I went too far with my girlfriend.
No, we never hit a homerun in those days, but we did more than what you see in the Young People Ask Book. Now I go too far with her all the time.
4. I didn’t turn people in.
Yeah, that’s right, I wasn’t a tattle-tale. I really couldn’t care less if other JWs got drunk or slept with other people. As long as no one got hurt, I didn’t feel it was my job to run to the elders telling on people. For example, when my sister-in-law and her boyfriend slept in the same bed together one night, my wife got all upset and said we should tell the elders. I didn’t feel like making a big fuss over it. This means I now have a lot of dirt on a lot of people.
5. I held contrary opinions.
From 1975 onwards, I disagreed with their love of neckties. From 1985 onwards, I disagreed with their stance on beards. From 1985 onwards, I disagreed with their belief on dinosaurs and proto-birds. From 1997 onwards, I did not believe Noah’s Flood was global. From 1998 onwards, I knew the Watchtower was wrong about certain dates. From 2000 onwards, I disagreed with their teaching on biblical genealogies and the age of humans.
I also disagreed with individual elders on occasion. For example, when the elders’ decision on a matter caused my favorite Aunt to leave the Kingdom Hall in tears, I felt they were wrong. When the elders told me I was not qualified to perform a wedding ceremony, I knew they were wrong (as this contradicted a Watchtower article I had in my pocket). When some elders discouraged a couple of young men in the congregation from informing the authorities about molestation they experienced at the hands of another JW, I felt they were incorrect. When Mike Lewis suggested to my fiancé and me that we should not have ‘worldly’ music played during our wedding and that we should not have a limo to drive us from our wedding to our reception, I thought he was wrong. In fact, since my grandfather (also an elder), paid for and surprised us with a limo at our wedding, I knew Mike was wrong.
Who wants to cast the first stone?
In amongst all the things that have kept me busy lately, I have had a couple of very interesting conversations. In one of them, I was talking with an ex-Witness. This ex-Witness, in particular, was in the religion far longer than I. He rose to the position of Elder and even considered himself one of the anointed (i.e., going to heaven when he dies). During the course of our verbal exchange, he asked me:
When you were a Witness, did you ever do anything for which you should have gotten into trouble?
It’s a good question, primarily because many JWs I speak with delight in ‘blaming’ my exit from their religion on the fact that God’s spirit ‘left me’. Of course, this begs the question: Why did God’s spirit leave me? Their answer is usually something like: “You must’ve done something wrong”. So I’m gonna take this opportunity right now to spell out everything I did wrong as a JW and I will leave you, the reader, to decide if any of this warranted a termination of God’s (whoever you feel God is) love.
I first want to point out that I’m listing off absolutely everything here. So, unless I list it off, you can assume I never did it. For instance, I never murdered anyone, so even though that is against JW policy, I was never guilty of that sin. Second, there are really two time frames here: 20th Century James, who believed in the Watchtower Society and the inerrancy of the bible and 21st Century James (2000-2006) who didn’t believe it was true but still did it anyway for reasons that would make this a phenomenally long story (trust me). I will divide my sins appropriately. Third, any JW will admit that all JWs sin all the time; maybe they told a white lie, or they stayed home from the meeting when they shouldn’t have, or they had a ‘bad’ thought about someone else. I’m not gonna list those tiny sins because, well, for one, I don’t remember them all and, two, no JW ever got into trouble for those silly little things, they were just told to pray for forgiveness.
1. I drank to excess.
Between 1995 and 1999, I was over the legal limit (probably) 20 times. I want to point out that I never drank with the intention of getting drunk, it just sort of happened when I was enjoying a particularly strong Long Island Iced Tea. I never fell asleep on the floor or vomited or woke up the next morning unable to go to work, so I was never THAT drunk, but I was tipsy to the point where I shouldn’t have driven. And, don’t worry, I never did drive.
Between 2000 and 2006, I was over the legal limit (probably) 10 times. On one occasion, my wife had to pull the car over so I could puke.
2. I watched rated-R movies.
In the 20th century, I watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Godfather Trilogy, Schindler’s List, Saving Private Ryan, Shakespeare in Love and Braveheart. Real trashy stuff. Funny thing, though, most JWs have also seen these movies – they either do so in private (going to great lengths to hide their contraband) or they just watch them on TV where they can still get the benefit of all the violence, but are saved the God-hating images of bare breasts.
In the 21st century, I (like many other JWs) decided the Society’s rating policy was asinine and took to watching whatever the hell I felt like watching (though I still abstained from spiritistic movies and porn).
3. I went too far with my girlfriend.
No, we never hit a homerun in those days, but we did more than what you see in the Young People Ask Book. Now I go too far with her all the time.
4. I didn’t turn people in.
Yeah, that’s right, I wasn’t a tattle-tale. I really couldn’t care less if other JWs got drunk or slept with other people. As long as no one got hurt, I didn’t feel it was my job to run to the elders telling on people. For example, when my sister-in-law and her boyfriend slept in the same bed together one night, my wife got all upset and said we should tell the elders. I didn’t feel like making a big fuss over it. This means I now have a lot of dirt on a lot of people.
5. I held contrary opinions.
From 1975 onwards, I disagreed with their love of neckties. From 1985 onwards, I disagreed with their stance on beards. From 1985 onwards, I disagreed with their belief on dinosaurs and proto-birds. From 1997 onwards, I did not believe Noah’s Flood was global. From 1998 onwards, I knew the Watchtower was wrong about certain dates. From 2000 onwards, I disagreed with their teaching on biblical genealogies and the age of humans.
I also disagreed with individual elders on occasion. For example, when the elders’ decision on a matter caused my favorite Aunt to leave the Kingdom Hall in tears, I felt they were wrong. When the elders told me I was not qualified to perform a wedding ceremony, I knew they were wrong (as this contradicted a Watchtower article I had in my pocket). When some elders discouraged a couple of young men in the congregation from informing the authorities about molestation they experienced at the hands of another JW, I felt they were incorrect. When Mike Lewis suggested to my fiancé and me that we should not have ‘worldly’ music played during our wedding and that we should not have a limo to drive us from our wedding to our reception, I thought he was wrong. In fact, since my grandfather (also an elder), paid for and surprised us with a limo at our wedding, I knew Mike was wrong.
Who wants to cast the first stone?
Monday, September 22, 2008
Seeing the Twin Cities...without prying open My Wallet
In the last 6 weeks, I have visited the Twin Cities’ Model Train Museum, the Bakken Museum, a Vikings pre-season game, Fort Snelling State Historical Site, The Minnesota State Fair, The Renaissance Festival and Valley Fair. Owen was with me for four of these adventures, and Jennifer was with me during three of them. You might wonder: How does someone pay for all that stuff? Especially since there’s evidently no money left in the country anymore?
Here’s how:
First off, your friendly neighborhood library offers free passes to local attractions. So, I first picked up a ticket for the Model Train Museum. Admission to this museum is only four bucks, and Owen was free anyways, but, hey, I saved some cash.
Owen and I did the same thing for the Bakken Museum: Owen was free anyways, and I saved myself 7 big ones.
Jennifer and I got into the Vikings football game for free thanks to our soon-to-be-ex-brother-in-law who thoughfully gave us tickets he was unable to use.
For Fort Snelling, I again tried the library. They only have a limited number of free passes each week, so there’s no guarantee there will be one when you want one. So I was rather pleased when I went in to the library one Monday morning and found a free pass waiting on the shelf. I took it to the front counter and attempted to check it out…but the clerk informed me I could only have one pass at a time and the Bakken Museum’s pass was still checked out to me.
“But I already went to that museum,” I whined.
“Doesn’t matter,” she said, “You can’t check out another free pass until Wednesday.”
So, I did what any good cheapskate would do, instead of putting the pass back on the shelf, I hid it inside an obscure book on a lower shelf in the back of the library. I returned on Wednesday, walked up to my book, opened to the correct page, and pulled out the pass. The clerk then allowed me to check it out. On August 25th, then, Jennifer, Owen and I got into Fort Snelling for free…a savings of $20.
For the State Fair, I ordered tickets through my place of employment, which offers discounts on major events. Jennifer and I were granted admission for $16 instead of $22.
For the Renaissance Festival, I nabbed tickets for $8 a piece from a co-worker who also works at the Festival. As the normal cost of admission is $19.95, Jennifer and I were able to enter for $16 instead of $39.90.
Finally, my company buys out Valley Fair once every other year for the employees and three of their friends. Since admission is $37.99, and I got in for free, this was the best deal of the bunch.
So here’s what I spent on those six attractions for my own admission and Jennifer’s (when she accompanied me): $32.
And here’s what those same attractions would have cost without discounts: $170.89.
Here’s how:
First off, your friendly neighborhood library offers free passes to local attractions. So, I first picked up a ticket for the Model Train Museum. Admission to this museum is only four bucks, and Owen was free anyways, but, hey, I saved some cash.
Owen and I did the same thing for the Bakken Museum: Owen was free anyways, and I saved myself 7 big ones.
Jennifer and I got into the Vikings football game for free thanks to our soon-to-be-ex-brother-in-law who thoughfully gave us tickets he was unable to use.
For Fort Snelling, I again tried the library. They only have a limited number of free passes each week, so there’s no guarantee there will be one when you want one. So I was rather pleased when I went in to the library one Monday morning and found a free pass waiting on the shelf. I took it to the front counter and attempted to check it out…but the clerk informed me I could only have one pass at a time and the Bakken Museum’s pass was still checked out to me.
“But I already went to that museum,” I whined.
“Doesn’t matter,” she said, “You can’t check out another free pass until Wednesday.”
So, I did what any good cheapskate would do, instead of putting the pass back on the shelf, I hid it inside an obscure book on a lower shelf in the back of the library. I returned on Wednesday, walked up to my book, opened to the correct page, and pulled out the pass. The clerk then allowed me to check it out. On August 25th, then, Jennifer, Owen and I got into Fort Snelling for free…a savings of $20.
For the State Fair, I ordered tickets through my place of employment, which offers discounts on major events. Jennifer and I were granted admission for $16 instead of $22.
For the Renaissance Festival, I nabbed tickets for $8 a piece from a co-worker who also works at the Festival. As the normal cost of admission is $19.95, Jennifer and I were able to enter for $16 instead of $39.90.
Finally, my company buys out Valley Fair once every other year for the employees and three of their friends. Since admission is $37.99, and I got in for free, this was the best deal of the bunch.
So here’s what I spent on those six attractions for my own admission and Jennifer’s (when she accompanied me): $32.
And here’s what those same attractions would have cost without discounts: $170.89.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
The List of Lists
One day, while completely befuddled by the high number of lists I maintain, a friend of mine asked if I have a list of my lists. I laughed and said that I do not. So, here, for fun, I’m going to correct that. But first, here’s a list of things I’m not including on the list: 1) Phone lists (even though I am the head of the department phone list at my job 2) Work-related items involving projects and/or trade secrets (they’re boring lists anyways) and 3) Temporary lists (such as: Things to buy at the grocery store).
I’ve added a brief explanation for lists with non-obvious titles. Anytime I use the word “we” it should be understood to mean “Jennifer and I”.
1. List of meals the company has paid for
2. List of free things I’ve gotten from the company
3. Wage history
4. Books I have read (this is probably the oldest list here)
5. Number of books I’ve read per year
6. Subjects of the books I’ve read
7. An alphabetical list of the books I’ve read
8. Mistakes I’ve found in books I’ve read (this list is 27 pages long)
9. List of Edgar Allen Poe works
10. List of Sherlock Holmes stories
11. List of books authored by Theodore Geisel
12. Short stories I own
13. The ultimate calendar (a listing of every event in my life for which the exact date is known)
14. Timeline of my life (a list showing when and for how long I lived in certain places, held certain jobs, attended certain schools and how they overlapped)
15. Residences I have lived in
16. Cities I have live in
17. People I have lived with (there are 12 people on this list…)
18. Vacations I have been on
19. US states I have been to
20. Countries I have been to
21. Times I have been on an airplane
22. What we did for our anniversaries
23. Days since we married that we haven’t seen each other
24. Jobs I’ve had
25. Schools I’ve attended
26. Concerts I’ve attended
27. Professional baseball games I’ve attended
28. Plays I’ve attended
29. What we did on our cruise each day
30. Cars we have owned
31. Lego pieces I own
32. Board/card games we own
33. My 50 All-time favorite motion pictures
34. My 20 favorite TV shows
35. My 10 favorite albums
36. My 50 favorite songs
37. My 10 favorite non-fiction books
38. My 10 favorite fiction books
39. Motion pictures I have seen (there are 1,189 movies listed)
40. Number of motion pictures seen from each year
41. Motion pictures I have seen at the theater
42. Read the book…and seen the movie (I pick which I prefer)
43. Billboard #1 albums (1956-present)
44. Billboard #1 songs (1940-present)
45. Things that annoy me
46. Our ten year anniversary trivia quiz
47. Bart Simpson’s chalkboard writings
48. Best songs by people I know
49. Customer service (list of grievances filed with companies and what sort of recompense we received)
50. Deep Thoughts (from the SNL spot)
51. Rolling Stone magazine’s 500 greatest rock songs of all time
52. Non-work money (list of money I have made outside of work, such as at garage sales)
53. Favorite quotes from 1984
54. Favorite quotes
55. Quotes from famous losers
56. Addams Family episodes
57. Battlestar Galactica episodes
58. Little House on the Prairie episodes
59. Northern Exposure episodes
60. Quantum Leap episodes
61. View Master reels I own
62. Mistakes we found watching “Voyager”
63. Wal-mart facts (notes I took while reading “How Wal-mart is Destroying America”)
64. Website traffic (I track the number of new visitors to my website each week)
65. Words to learn
66. Bible verses mentioning dogs
67. Partakers at JW memorial, 1980 – present
68. US religious census statistics
69. Money spent by the Watchtower Society each year on Circuit Overseers, 1980-present
70. JWs publisher increases/decreases, 1930-present
71. JWs versus world population, 1950-present
72. Survey results (I sent out a survey asking ex-JWs if they thought they were going to die at Armageddon)
73. Chemicals in the atmosphere
74. Nations of the world
75. National parks
76. Places I want to visit in Minnesota
77. Vacations I want to go on
78. Word of the year (I pick a new word every year that I had never known about before)
79. Self-created filmlets
80. Other videography projects (weddings, baptisms, etc, that we have filmed)
81. Filmlet commentary
82. Every email address
83. Goals for 2008
84. Passwords
85. Palindromes
86. Autonyms
88. Homophones
89. My book – chapters, pages and words
90. Wonderfalls episodes
91. Arrested Development episodes
92. Freaks and Geeks episode
93. Awful Truth episodes
94. Star Trek: TNG episodes
95. Star Trek: TOS episodes
96. Star Trek: Voyager episodes
97. Firefly episodes
98. Best Picture Oscar winners
99. Best selling motion picture from each year
100. This list
There.
I actually have less lists now than when I was a kid, thanks in part to the internet. For example, I used to have a list of where the Olympics were held each olympiad, but that seems pointless now as I could just look it up. You may have noticed that some lists aren’t very personal (such as “Sherlock Holmes stories”), but the reason why I have such lists is to check them off as I watch/read the items on the list.
I’ve added a brief explanation for lists with non-obvious titles. Anytime I use the word “we” it should be understood to mean “Jennifer and I”.
1. List of meals the company has paid for
2. List of free things I’ve gotten from the company
3. Wage history
4. Books I have read (this is probably the oldest list here)
5. Number of books I’ve read per year
6. Subjects of the books I’ve read
7. An alphabetical list of the books I’ve read
8. Mistakes I’ve found in books I’ve read (this list is 27 pages long)
9. List of Edgar Allen Poe works
10. List of Sherlock Holmes stories
11. List of books authored by Theodore Geisel
12. Short stories I own
13. The ultimate calendar (a listing of every event in my life for which the exact date is known)
14. Timeline of my life (a list showing when and for how long I lived in certain places, held certain jobs, attended certain schools and how they overlapped)
15. Residences I have lived in
16. Cities I have live in
17. People I have lived with (there are 12 people on this list…)
18. Vacations I have been on
19. US states I have been to
20. Countries I have been to
21. Times I have been on an airplane
22. What we did for our anniversaries
23. Days since we married that we haven’t seen each other
24. Jobs I’ve had
25. Schools I’ve attended
26. Concerts I’ve attended
27. Professional baseball games I’ve attended
28. Plays I’ve attended
29. What we did on our cruise each day
30. Cars we have owned
31. Lego pieces I own
32. Board/card games we own
33. My 50 All-time favorite motion pictures
34. My 20 favorite TV shows
35. My 10 favorite albums
36. My 50 favorite songs
37. My 10 favorite non-fiction books
38. My 10 favorite fiction books
39. Motion pictures I have seen (there are 1,189 movies listed)
40. Number of motion pictures seen from each year
41. Motion pictures I have seen at the theater
42. Read the book…and seen the movie (I pick which I prefer)
43. Billboard #1 albums (1956-present)
44. Billboard #1 songs (1940-present)
45. Things that annoy me
46. Our ten year anniversary trivia quiz
47. Bart Simpson’s chalkboard writings
48. Best songs by people I know
49. Customer service (list of grievances filed with companies and what sort of recompense we received)
50. Deep Thoughts (from the SNL spot)
51. Rolling Stone magazine’s 500 greatest rock songs of all time
52. Non-work money (list of money I have made outside of work, such as at garage sales)
53. Favorite quotes from 1984
54. Favorite quotes
55. Quotes from famous losers
56. Addams Family episodes
57. Battlestar Galactica episodes
58. Little House on the Prairie episodes
59. Northern Exposure episodes
60. Quantum Leap episodes
61. View Master reels I own
62. Mistakes we found watching “Voyager”
63. Wal-mart facts (notes I took while reading “How Wal-mart is Destroying America”)
64. Website traffic (I track the number of new visitors to my website each week)
65. Words to learn
66. Bible verses mentioning dogs
67. Partakers at JW memorial, 1980 – present
68. US religious census statistics
69. Money spent by the Watchtower Society each year on Circuit Overseers, 1980-present
70. JWs publisher increases/decreases, 1930-present
71. JWs versus world population, 1950-present
72. Survey results (I sent out a survey asking ex-JWs if they thought they were going to die at Armageddon)
73. Chemicals in the atmosphere
74. Nations of the world
75. National parks
76. Places I want to visit in Minnesota
77. Vacations I want to go on
78. Word of the year (I pick a new word every year that I had never known about before)
79. Self-created filmlets
80. Other videography projects (weddings, baptisms, etc, that we have filmed)
81. Filmlet commentary
82. Every email address
83. Goals for 2008
84. Passwords
85. Palindromes
86. Autonyms
88. Homophones
89. My book – chapters, pages and words
90. Wonderfalls episodes
91. Arrested Development episodes
92. Freaks and Geeks episode
93. Awful Truth episodes
94. Star Trek: TNG episodes
95. Star Trek: TOS episodes
96. Star Trek: Voyager episodes
97. Firefly episodes
98. Best Picture Oscar winners
99. Best selling motion picture from each year
100. This list
There.
I actually have less lists now than when I was a kid, thanks in part to the internet. For example, I used to have a list of where the Olympics were held each olympiad, but that seems pointless now as I could just look it up. You may have noticed that some lists aren’t very personal (such as “Sherlock Holmes stories”), but the reason why I have such lists is to check them off as I watch/read the items on the list.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Light Reading
Owen and I read books together nearly every night before bed. After a long period in which he would only allow me to read a handful of non-fiction books (with the exception of Where’s Spot?), he’s finally allowing me to branch out into his entire reading library.
Here are some things I’ve noticed, and some other things I’m wondering…
One book Owen owns is a thick book of nursery rhymes. I don’t often bring this one out for fear he’ll insist I read every rhyme in the book (and the book does put forth an ambitious effort to include every nursery rhyme ever conceived), but reading these bizarre, often scary poems as an adult now has me asking:
What’s with the three men in a tub? I mean, let’s set aside the strange amalgam of blue-collar professionals sharing such tight quarters, what I find weird is that, in any illustrative depiction of the poem, the men are invariably in a barrel floating in a body of water. What gives? Should the poem be three men in a boat? Did “tub” used to mean “a thing you float in”?
And while we’re on the subject of nursery rhymes, why is Humpty always portrayed as an egg? Nothing in the poem seems to indicate this. What’s more, Humpty is shown to be a MALE egg. Again, nothing in the poem itself tells us what gender Humpty is, and I think you’d be pretty hard pressed to find something in the refrigerator that screams FEMALE! more than an egg.
Speaking of gender, one of our favorite books to read together is Wacky Wednesday. For the life of me, I can’t figure out the gender of the main character, despite the fact that he/she is shown on every single page – including one page in which he/she is naked but for a pair of socks. We never learn the protagonist’s name, and no one talks to him/her in any way that requires a telling pronoun. The boy/girl dons a pink shirt with jeans and sports hair going down just over his/her ears. Very cryptic.
Another Dr. Seuss book we read is Green Eggs and Ham. Here’s the funniest thing about that book: the pages are numbered. Yes, that’s right, despite the fact that there’s no table of contents or index, and despite the fact that the book can be read cover to cover in under five minutes, someone, somewhere along the way, felt it necessary to include page numbers. I guess, that way, when Owen comes to me with a confused look on his face asking: “Hey, where in this book does Sam-I-Am ask if his friend would be willing to eat green eggs and ham in a box or with a fox?” I can say, with precision, “Oh, that’s on page 22.”
You may not have heard of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, but in that book, a boy concedes to giving a mouse the above-mentioned dessert, only to have it escalate. The fun part is turning each page to see how it’s escalating. For instance, after eating the cookie, the mouse says he’s thirsty, so…(turn the page)…now he wants a glass of milk. Anyway, at one point, the mouse has drawn a picture and decides he wants to hang it on the fridge, so he needs…(drum roll)…Scotch Tape. You read that correctly: Scotch Tape. The first time I turn to this page, I felt cheated. Who hangs stuff on their fridge with Scotch Tape? Isn’t that why magnets were invented? It didn’t say he wanted a glass of Dean Milk, or a Nestle Toll House cookie. I searched the small print inside the front cover expecting to find something like “This book made possible by a grant from 3M”. No such luck. I hate when an otherwise good book does something stupid like pointless product placement.
In the book Where the Wild Things Are, we are told that Max is anointed “King of All Wild Things”. But I think a better title would be “King of All Run-on Sentences”. Here’s a doozy:
That very night in Max's room a forest grew and grew and grew until his ceiling hung with vines and the walls became the world around and an ocean tumbled by with a private boat for Max and he sailed off through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost over a year to where the wild things are.
…Yep, that’s right: 62 words spread out over 5 pages, and that’s not even the longest sentence in the book. I am certain this book has more pages than sentences. I keep looking at the cover, expecting it to say “written by Thomas Jefferson”.
In the matter of funky sentence structure, I was going to mention Corduroy, with it’s predilection for passive statements (e.g. try to sound natural when reading things like “Over it fell with a crash.”), but, instead, allow me to point out one of the book’s reviews, which is reprinted on the inside front cover. The first sentence begins:
A winning, completely childlike picture book in which a stuffed bear waiting hopefully in a toy department finds a home with a little black girl...
…Yes, you read that correctly: Corduroy goes home to live with a black girl. Unlike, say, the Sneetches, ethnicity has absolutely nothing to do with the story, so I’m not sure why the reviewer was compelled to tell us Corduroy’s ultimate friend is black, nor why the publisher deemed this the best review to print in this edition.
My white son and I look forward to reading more books tonight.
Here are some things I’ve noticed, and some other things I’m wondering…
One book Owen owns is a thick book of nursery rhymes. I don’t often bring this one out for fear he’ll insist I read every rhyme in the book (and the book does put forth an ambitious effort to include every nursery rhyme ever conceived), but reading these bizarre, often scary poems as an adult now has me asking:
What’s with the three men in a tub? I mean, let’s set aside the strange amalgam of blue-collar professionals sharing such tight quarters, what I find weird is that, in any illustrative depiction of the poem, the men are invariably in a barrel floating in a body of water. What gives? Should the poem be three men in a boat? Did “tub” used to mean “a thing you float in”?
And while we’re on the subject of nursery rhymes, why is Humpty always portrayed as an egg? Nothing in the poem seems to indicate this. What’s more, Humpty is shown to be a MALE egg. Again, nothing in the poem itself tells us what gender Humpty is, and I think you’d be pretty hard pressed to find something in the refrigerator that screams FEMALE! more than an egg.
Speaking of gender, one of our favorite books to read together is Wacky Wednesday. For the life of me, I can’t figure out the gender of the main character, despite the fact that he/she is shown on every single page – including one page in which he/she is naked but for a pair of socks. We never learn the protagonist’s name, and no one talks to him/her in any way that requires a telling pronoun. The boy/girl dons a pink shirt with jeans and sports hair going down just over his/her ears. Very cryptic.
Another Dr. Seuss book we read is Green Eggs and Ham. Here’s the funniest thing about that book: the pages are numbered. Yes, that’s right, despite the fact that there’s no table of contents or index, and despite the fact that the book can be read cover to cover in under five minutes, someone, somewhere along the way, felt it necessary to include page numbers. I guess, that way, when Owen comes to me with a confused look on his face asking: “Hey, where in this book does Sam-I-Am ask if his friend would be willing to eat green eggs and ham in a box or with a fox?” I can say, with precision, “Oh, that’s on page 22.”
You may not have heard of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, but in that book, a boy concedes to giving a mouse the above-mentioned dessert, only to have it escalate. The fun part is turning each page to see how it’s escalating. For instance, after eating the cookie, the mouse says he’s thirsty, so…(turn the page)…now he wants a glass of milk. Anyway, at one point, the mouse has drawn a picture and decides he wants to hang it on the fridge, so he needs…(drum roll)…Scotch Tape. You read that correctly: Scotch Tape. The first time I turn to this page, I felt cheated. Who hangs stuff on their fridge with Scotch Tape? Isn’t that why magnets were invented? It didn’t say he wanted a glass of Dean Milk, or a Nestle Toll House cookie. I searched the small print inside the front cover expecting to find something like “This book made possible by a grant from 3M”. No such luck. I hate when an otherwise good book does something stupid like pointless product placement.
In the book Where the Wild Things Are, we are told that Max is anointed “King of All Wild Things”. But I think a better title would be “King of All Run-on Sentences”. Here’s a doozy:
That very night in Max's room a forest grew and grew and grew until his ceiling hung with vines and the walls became the world around and an ocean tumbled by with a private boat for Max and he sailed off through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost over a year to where the wild things are.
…Yep, that’s right: 62 words spread out over 5 pages, and that’s not even the longest sentence in the book. I am certain this book has more pages than sentences. I keep looking at the cover, expecting it to say “written by Thomas Jefferson”.
In the matter of funky sentence structure, I was going to mention Corduroy, with it’s predilection for passive statements (e.g. try to sound natural when reading things like “Over it fell with a crash.”), but, instead, allow me to point out one of the book’s reviews, which is reprinted on the inside front cover. The first sentence begins:
A winning, completely childlike picture book in which a stuffed bear waiting hopefully in a toy department finds a home with a little black girl...
…Yes, you read that correctly: Corduroy goes home to live with a black girl. Unlike, say, the Sneetches, ethnicity has absolutely nothing to do with the story, so I’m not sure why the reviewer was compelled to tell us Corduroy’s ultimate friend is black, nor why the publisher deemed this the best review to print in this edition.
My white son and I look forward to reading more books tonight.
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