Friday, October 31, 2008

Ten Busy Days

All day, I keep having this feeling like I'm forgetting a project or two, and that might be because I have A LOT to do in the next ten days. Allow me to delineate everything & then I'll get back here 10 days hence and see how I fared.

Today (31Oct) - Work. Trick'r'Treating with Owen at the Mall, then coming home to pass out candy to the locals.

01Nov - 11:45 appointment to get my haircut at my sister's salon. I gotta remember to bring my laptop so she can update her iPod. In the afternoon, I need to call into a conference call so I can hear all the rules and requirements of Video the Vote, which I signed up for. Also, I have to smack the pack of yeast so that I can brew beer on Sunday. Set the clock back before hitting the pillow.

02Nov - Friends coming over for dinner and to watch me brew beer. I'd also like to video-tape some of this for a how-to filmlet.

03Nov - Work. Going to a meeting for Video the Vote for one last training session.

04Nov - Work. Want to leave right at 3:00 to get home in time to stand in line & vote. Bringing my camera. Need to be on hand to film any voting problems that arise in my area between then and 7:00.

05Nov - Work. Leaving early to go to a routing physical to make sure I'm not filled with the drugs I work on at work. Going straight from there to guitar lessons.

06Nov - Work. Hosting Atheists Talk TV Show in the evening.

07Nov - Work. During lunch break, meeting via phone with a woman from the foundation that is offering writing grants (with the hope that this will help score me the grant). Running in a 6K race sponsored by my employer.

08Nov - Lunch with grandparents.

09Nov - The beer might be ready to bottle. Also, the grant proposal is due on the 10th, so I should have it all prepared today & ready to drop off tomorrow.

There! In between all that, I need to find time to finalize the latest issue of MA, work on the grant proposal, monitor the beer and practice guitar. I think some friends might want some assistance with their kitchen floor tiling, too.

I'll write again around the 10th to report back.

Now back to work...

Friday, October 24, 2008

A Good Question - Part One

I keep meaning to write something here, because I think both people who read this blog enjoy my extremist views on life. Alas, I have been quite busy with a number of personal pursuits which I’m sure would bore you if I discussed them any further.

In amongst all the things that have kept me busy lately, I have had a couple of very interesting conversations. In one of them, I was talking with an ex-Witness. This ex-Witness, in particular, was in the religion far longer than I. He rose to the position of Elder and even considered himself one of the anointed (i.e., going to heaven when he dies). During the course of our verbal exchange, he asked me:

When you were a Witness, did you ever do anything for which you should have gotten into trouble?

It’s a good question, primarily because many JWs I speak with delight in ‘blaming’ my exit from their religion on the fact that God’s spirit ‘left me’. Of course, this begs the question: Why did God’s spirit leave me? Their answer is usually something like: “You must’ve done something wrong”. So I’m gonna take this opportunity right now to spell out everything I did wrong as a JW and I will leave you, the reader, to decide if any of this warranted a termination of God’s (whoever you feel God is) love.

I first want to point out that I’m listing off absolutely everything here. So, unless I list it off, you can assume I never did it. For instance, I never murdered anyone, so even though that is against JW policy, I was never guilty of that sin. Second, there are really two time frames here: 20th Century James, who believed in the Watchtower Society and the inerrancy of the bible and 21st Century James (2000-2006) who didn’t believe it was true but still did it anyway for reasons that would make this a phenomenally long story (trust me). I will divide my sins appropriately. Third, any JW will admit that all JWs sin all the time; maybe they told a white lie, or they stayed home from the meeting when they shouldn’t have, or they had a ‘bad’ thought about someone else. I’m not gonna list those tiny sins because, well, for one, I don’t remember them all and, two, no JW ever got into trouble for those silly little things, they were just told to pray for forgiveness.

1. I drank to excess.
Between 1995 and 1999, I was over the legal limit (probably) 20 times. I want to point out that I never drank with the intention of getting drunk, it just sort of happened when I was enjoying a particularly strong Long Island Iced Tea. I never fell asleep on the floor or vomited or woke up the next morning unable to go to work, so I was never THAT drunk, but I was tipsy to the point where I shouldn’t have driven. And, don’t worry, I never did drive.
Between 2000 and 2006, I was over the legal limit (probably) 10 times. On one occasion, my wife had to pull the car over so I could puke.

2. I watched rated-R movies.
In the 20th century, I watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Godfather Trilogy, Schindler’s List, Saving Private Ryan, Shakespeare in Love and Braveheart. Real trashy stuff. Funny thing, though, most JWs have also seen these movies – they either do so in private (going to great lengths to hide their contraband) or they just watch them on TV where they can still get the benefit of all the violence, but are saved the God-hating images of bare breasts.
In the 21st century, I (like many other JWs) decided the Society’s rating policy was asinine and took to watching whatever the hell I felt like watching (though I still abstained from spiritistic movies and porn).

3. I went too far with my girlfriend.
No, we never hit a homerun in those days, but we did more than what you see in the Young People Ask Book. Now I go too far with her all the time.

4. I didn’t turn people in.
Yeah, that’s right, I wasn’t a tattle-tale. I really couldn’t care less if other JWs got drunk or slept with other people. As long as no one got hurt, I didn’t feel it was my job to run to the elders telling on people. For example, when my sister-in-law and her boyfriend slept in the same bed together one night, my wife got all upset and said we should tell the elders. I didn’t feel like making a big fuss over it. This means I now have a lot of dirt on a lot of people.

5. I held contrary opinions.
From 1975 onwards, I disagreed with their love of neckties. From 1985 onwards, I disagreed with their stance on beards. From 1985 onwards, I disagreed with their belief on dinosaurs and proto-birds. From 1997 onwards, I did not believe Noah’s Flood was global. From 1998 onwards, I knew the Watchtower was wrong about certain dates. From 2000 onwards, I disagreed with their teaching on biblical genealogies and the age of humans.
I also disagreed with individual elders on occasion. For example, when the elders’ decision on a matter caused my favorite Aunt to leave the Kingdom Hall in tears, I felt they were wrong. When the elders told me I was not qualified to perform a wedding ceremony, I knew they were wrong (as this contradicted a Watchtower article I had in my pocket). When some elders discouraged a couple of young men in the congregation from informing the authorities about molestation they experienced at the hands of another JW, I felt they were incorrect. When Mike Lewis suggested to my fiancĂ© and me that we should not have ‘worldly’ music played during our wedding and that we should not have a limo to drive us from our wedding to our reception, I thought he was wrong. In fact, since my grandfather (also an elder), paid for and surprised us with a limo at our wedding, I knew Mike was wrong.

Who wants to cast the first stone?